Ugliest sports uniforms: Join our Virtual Happy Hour draft at 5 p.m. Wednesday
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Contrary to popular belief, the Grizzlies left Vancouver just six years after expansion because some sins cannot be forgiven. The No. 5 pick in the ugly unis draft is the 1990s Grizzlies teal. Cartoonish block lettering and the bear palming a basketball are peak 90s NBA. And what ancient code around the neck and arms are we to decipher? Don’t miss the bear paw at the waistline. The longer you look, the uglier they get.
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I think we're on a theme here in that the 1990s were bad. Bad colors, bad designs, bad ideas. Every expansion team decided it couldn't go with just blue or red and had to go with teal or purple or whatever. But older teams also changed their uniforms, too, from a good design to a horrible one. My pick is the Islanders 1995-97 road jersey, when the team ditched the iconic logo of Long Island and instead went with some Gorton's Fisherman wannabe holding a hockey stick. They added way too many colors on top of the navy, and just to enhance that feeling of seasickness they put waves at the bottom.
Plus did you know Todd Bertuzzi began his career with the Islanders? I for one did not.
Todd Bertuzzi, when he was young -
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With the seventh pick of the Ugliest Uniforms Draft, and because today is the 27th anniversary of the final game in Minnesota North Stars history, I submit to you the 1993-94 Dallas Stars uniform – with the emphasis on DALLAS. This one is my choice because of the ugliness those sweaters represent from a sad time in Minnesota sports. Those uniforms were a carryover from the North Stars’ final days in Minnesota, and they signaled something was amiss. After the 1991 run to the Stanley Cup Final, the iconic logo was replaced, the primary color was changed Kelly green to forest green, and there was no mention of “North’’ before “Stars.’’ Owner Norm Green, forever vilified in Minnesota as he should be because of several reasons, would move the team to Dallas following the 1992-93 season and slap the state of Texas patches on the sweater’s shoulders. In Minnesota, we lost a piece of history and had to wait seven years for the NHL to return. -
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The Badgers have the worst uniforms in college sports history. The W on their helmets is italicized for no other reason than to stress just how ugly it is. Barry Alvarez must have been asleep during the uniform design meetings. Too bad he was wide awake during the ruin college hockey meetings.
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I sought a pre-draft ruling from Commissioner Sinker to make sure figure-skating costumes were legit. He said yes. Which is fortunate, because no sport can match the sartorial hell of ice dancing.Name another athlete who would wear a sequined, bedazzled, low-cut Lycra uniform and think: "You know, this would look so much better with some feathers!" Most only cross the line of good taste, but my first-round pick managed to be both hideous AND offensive. Behold: Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin, in an "Aboriginal-inspired'' getup from 2010. (The Toronto Star labeled this a "didgeri-don't.'')
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