Ugliest sports uniforms: Join our Virtual Happy Hour draft at 5 p.m. Wednesday
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OK folks, there was some format controversy the first time we tried this. But we learned from our mistakes. That's all we can hope to do. This is a SNAKE draft, as all such drafts should be. Brian Stensaas has the last pick of the first round and the first pick of the second round. Watch this:
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Happy Gilmore taught us golf is for guys in goofy pants with a robust backside. Sunday Singles at the 1999 Ryder Cup, it also was for guys in hideous polos, which comes in at No. 10. Fun fact: Our own Tom Lehman led off for the Americans. His 1/2 point vs. Lee Westwood was an early part of a red-white-and-blue rally that fine Sunday at Brookline. Americans were roundly criticized for their behavior when Justin Leonard's putt dropped on 17 some hours later, setting off a wild on-course celebration. But forever and ever (amen) the true travesty that day was whatever the heck Team USA was wearing.
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I have nothing against the state of Maryland. But this former elementary school Geography Bee champion has never liked the state flag. It's just ... cluttered. So when the Terps adapted that design for their sports uniforms, I despised it immediately. Sorry, Scott Van Pelt. COming in at No. 11: These are one terrible thing.
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Following up on the golf theme ... you'd think a sport played by so many rich people would have better fashion sense. Especially the men's game. It's a nightmare of garish shirts, unflattering white pants, goofy hats, weird belt buckles. And here's another John Daly sighting. He could have completed this ensemble with floppy shoes and a Bozo wig, but he made the simple choice, accessorizing with a cigarette. Classy!
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OK everyone following along: There's a recap of round one below and a special rule that I decided on this morning. The four participants deemed to have the best "team" of ugly uniforms through the first two rounds will get *bonus* selections in a quick 4-pick third-round. After that, I might choose a winner! You can help me make the choices, please.
- Timberwolves "Tree-Era" jerseys (Chris Carr)
- Nashville Predators all-yellow (Chris Hine)
- 1960s era Denver Broncos yellow-on-brown (Ben Goessling)
- Phoenix Coyotes western-motif (Naila-Jean Meyers)
- Vancouver Grizzlies 1990s era teal (Andrew Krammer)
- New York Islanders 1995-97 road jerseys (Ken Chia)
- Dallas Stars 1993-94, with Texas shoulder patch (Randy Johnson)
- Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin, "Aboriginal-inspired" figure-skating get-up (Rachel Blount)
- White Sox 1976 collared-shirts-and-shorts (Joe Christensen)
- Team USA 1999 Ryder Cup Sunday Singles polos (Brian Stensaas)
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With pick No. 14, I’m going back to 1999, when Major League Baseball had a hare-brained idea for a “Turn Ahead the Clock Night.’’ I’ll admit to being a traditionalist when it comes to baseball uniforms, and nobody will confuse me with Mr. Blackwell when it comes to fashion. But the uniforms used that weekend were garish, including those worn by the Twins. Oversized logos and oddly placed stripes amid an overly forced theme made for a mess. Reminded me of how “Back to the Future II’’ paled in comparison with the original.
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